Ping Pong Motherhood

Half term at last! With Jonty on holiday this week things should take an easier turn in the Knights household. Last week was interesting to say the least. I had organised help for the week so that I had someone to take and pick Lucy up from school and apart from one minor blip that all went well. It was a bit scary actually when Lucy was gone and I was on my own with Lily & Jamie. Did I deal with the huge pile of washing up or clothes/nappies needing to be washed, sort out the bits that needed sterilising or play with Lily? Unfortunately (for Lily) housework needed to be done so more often than not Lily spent the week being babysat by the TV (guilt level fairly high). By about Wednesday I think Lily had had enough of the young intruder who was taking up so much of her Mummy's time, that the slide into negative attention seeking began. How do you stop a toddler from destroying everything she lays her hands on while you've got a baby hanging off your boob?
The afternoons became an excercise in testing Mummy's limits. If anyone has any tips on how to keep a toddler amused, while getting your seven year old to do her homework/reading/flute practise, cook and feed a baby I'm all ears! But it's not all bad. We've had some great evenings where we've sat and played with the older two while Jamie lounged, and it's just been really heartwarming to survey the scene and think 'hey this is my family and they are really great'.
And yes the family is now complete and there will definitely be no more little Knights'. Jonty has done the deed and is going to see a man about a small operation with a laser. Deep down I have to admit I'm quite bewildered by the sense of grief I felt when Jonty & I talked about a more permanent contraceptive solution. Theoretically I still have 10 childbearing years left and to have that opportunity removed well... forever is quite hard to deal with. Obviously I don't want to have six cildren but I also don't want to not have the chance to have six kids. Does that make sense or is this just a case of post natal rambling?